The Perfect Woman

It's been awhile since my divorce, and I have softened my "I am never getting married" stance to something more like "I am not likely to ever get married again." Baby steps, friends, baby steps. If I thought I could find someone like this, I might consider it.

"Cyclone relief pitcher Grady Hinchman, 24, is the only player on the team who is married (for all of a month!), but he had a good feeling about the Kerpen-Fisher nuptials.
“If he’s found a woman who will get married on a baseball field, he’s found the right girl,” he said.

So, I sent an email out to some friends earlier today about this article. I don't usually use this forum to share my personal email exchanges, but this one was notable. My very first email back was from a recently married friend of mine who simply said his wife would have nothing of that. I wrote back:

"Nor would the former Mrs. Travelin' Man. :-) Which is why if there ever is to be a FUTURE Mrs. Travelin' Man, she should plan on her nuptials to take place in one of two environs: home plate at the mutual ballpark of our choosing (sure as hell ain't going to be Yankee Stadium) or VEGAS Baby - at the Elvis Chapel of Love, where we will be married by an Elvis impersonator -- and not some thin 1950's Elvis. I want the authentic, 1970's coke-riddled, obese, fried peanut butter and banana sandwich eating Elvis!

If I find a woman who would endure that - then I know that she won't ever leave!"

Surprisingly, one of my very attractive, single friends wrote back and said that she would "totally" do this. It took all I had to not write back in my Joey Trebiani voice "How YOUUUUU doin'?"

Who knows if there is a perfect woman, though? Yet another guy apparently got tired of waking up next to every man's fantasy, Christie Brinkley.

I realize that I can count the number of supermodels with whom I have slept on....ummm....well, no hands, but that doesn't change the fact that this is Christie Freakin' Brinkley. How hard must she be to get along with? This was Husband Number Four - and he would rather schtoop a 19 year-old?

On the other hand, I guess it means that Christie Brinkley is back on the market. I wonder if she is a baseball fan?